


Dark Past, Bright Future

by Firebird_18



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Holtz has a crappy childhood, Hurt/Comfort, I am so so sorry about this, I swear this is the saddest fic I've written, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Past Abuse, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 23:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7777312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firebird_18/pseuds/Firebird_18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone from Holtzmann's past shows up. Things do not go well. </p><p>Maybe Holtz had a crappy past but personally she thought her future looked pretty damn great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dark Past, Bright Future

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so writing this broke my heart slightly but the ending is happy I swear.
> 
> Prompt from @My lil gay heart. Hope this satisfies your sad start but happy ending requests :)
> 
> Also I wrote this listening to Heathens on a loop which may or may not have increased my heart break by like a shit load... anyhow I hope you guys like it :)

The second floor lab was unusually sedate for an early Friday morning; Holtzmann was quietly tinkering with the proton packs and Erin was reading her latest physics textbook over in the corner, tucked out of sight but Holtz knew she was there. This was soon crushed when Patty came yelling up the stairs,

“Er Holtz! There’s someone here to see you!”   
“Send ‘em up!” Holtz yelled back not looking up from her work. A thud came from downstairs and heavy footsteps resounded around the room,   
“Jillian.” A deep voice said from the doorway. Holtz dropped her wrench in surprise and made Erin jump. She also started a small fire but that was normal,

“What are you doing here?” Holtz asked quietly. Erin looked over at Holtz with concern; she’d never heard her so timid,

“Hey Holtz?” She interrupted quickly. Holtz spun on her heel and flashed her grin at Erin who could see it didn’t quite have that same flirtatious sparkle as usual,

“Yeah hot stuff?” Her voice sounded slightly strained but still held a hint of affection,

“I’m just going to grab a fire extinguisher, you alright?” Erin said going to stand by Holtz briefly, her cheeks slightly pink from the engineer's comment even if she was concerned,

“Yeah I’m fine as always baby.” Holtz replied with sincerity, even if she was hiding behind her flirting. Erin gave one last look at the man in front of them, vaguely noticing the same colour eyes as Holtz before walking out the room,

“You know I thought you were better than this Jillian.” The man seethed, “I find out that you’re still playing around and you have nothing to say. I thought we got past this stupidity in high school.” Holtzmann shrunk behind her worktable,

“It’s not stupid.” She mumbled in reply,

“Not stupid? Oh yeah? You catch ‘ghosts’ for a living. You explode your way through life. Not to mention you’re still flirting. With women.” The man scoffed, Holtz bristled but spoke quietly,

“Alright, I get that you think my job is ridiculous but you do not get to come in here and boss me around. Not anymore.”

“Jillian I am your father. I will always be around.”   
“No.” Holtz replied sternly,

“No?” He rose up to his full height and folded his arms,   
“No. You will never come here again. Do you hear me?” Holtz gripped the table as she got more angry,

“You don’t get to talk to me that way Jillian.”   
“It’s Holtzmann.” She snapped, instantly shrinking when she saw the fire in his eyes,   
“You know I thought this rebellious streak was destroyed. Clearly I was wrong.” He snarled, Holtz gulped and backed away,

“Maybe you should go.” Holtz replied, barely keeping her voice from trembling,

“Maybe you should have learnt your lesson.”   
“Back off.” Holtz said shoving past him and ran down the stairs, he was quick to follow and grabbed her arm when he caught up,

“Is everything alright here?” Abby said, walking over to stand next to the pair,   
“We were just talking.” The man snarled,

“You were just leaving.” Holtz spat back, “Why are you even here?”

“To get you to see that this is stupid.”

“Just because you are a small minded prick does not mean what I do is stupid. I was always smarter than you. You are nothing but a sexist, homophobic ass who couldn’t even fathom why I would have an interest in women or why I love physics. So I’ll say it one more time, GET OUT!” Holtz was yelling by now and the fire in her eyes was burning as brightly as their proton streams. The man straightened up and barged out of the firehouse. Holtz quickly ran back upstairs leaving the other Ghostbusters in shock, even Kevin knew not to speak up. Erin was on the verge of tears and Abby and Patty were just frozen in place. Without a word, Erin got up and followed Holtzmann,

“Holtz?” She called gently when she reached the lab. Erin was met with silence and the faint smell of smoke from the, since gone, fire. Erin continued up to the roof and saw the door open a crack. Cautiously she pushed it open and saw Holtz sitting hunched up with her back to the wall and head in her hands. Erin strode over to her and collapsed next to her, pulling her into a hug instantly. Holtz wrapped her arms around Erin and let herself crumble into a mess of tears and sobs. After a few minutes, Holtz calms down enough to sit back from Erin,   
“You wanna talk about it?” Erin asks with a hand wrapped tightly around Holtzmann’s arm,

“No but I need to.” Holtz takes a deep breath and looks straight up at the sky that’s slowly taking a dark, cloudy form, “So that was my dad. My mom left us when I was young and well he always believed it was my craziness that drove her away. He went out of his mind trying to make me normal. Sent me to therapy. That didn’t work. He turned into a monster after that. Always abusing me whether it was physical or emotionally. I never stopped him but I never changed for him either. Then when I was 15 I realised I was gay and well I took that in my stride; completely and utterly went out of my way to be proud of myself even if my dad wasn’t.” Holtz paused for a second but continued, “I had always loved building things. Taking them apart, figuring stuff out. Dr Gorin was the first person who told me that my designs could actually be made. So after that I focused hard on science and engineering. Dad didn’t take it too well. Didn’t understand why I wasn’t interested in things that girls usually are. Again I didn’t care. When I graduated high school I went to MIT. As far away as possible. Don’t even know how he found me.” Holtz finished with a sob and a deep breath before looking at Erin who had stayed silent during her speech, “You gonna say anything sweet thing.” Holtz said with a small smile. Erin laughed and rested her head on Holtz’s shoulder,

“I am so sorry about your crappy childhood Holtz.” She whispered,   
“Don’t be.” Holtz replied,

“Well I am so tough.” Erin said with a smile, “No one should have to live like that. Especially you. You deserve so much better than that piece of shit.” Erin added quietly, Holtz gasped loudly making Erin turn to look at her,   
“Dr Gilbert, such language from a professor.” Holtz joked with a hand on her chest,

“Very funny Holtz.” Erin rolled her eyes,

“Was kind of hot though, not gonna lie.” Holtz stage whispered, Erin blushed and looked down at their feet which had become intertwined as they talked,   
“Always the charmer Holtz.” Erin mused,   
“I know right?” Holtz said with a wink, Erin blushed harder but looked at Holtz with a serious expression on her face,

“Thank you for telling me Jil-” Erin began before Holtz held up her hand and spoke,

“Babe you're a dime but please never call me Jillian.” The words were a playful but Holtz’s expression wasn’t,

“Ah right, well then Holtzmann, won’t you join the rest of us downstairs?” Erin asked hopefully,

“Can… can we stay up here a little longer?” Holtz asked quietly, Erin smiled,   
“Sure.” Erin lay her head back on Holtz’s shoulder and watched as Holtz took her hand in hers and gently played with her fingertips,

“You have really small hands.” Erin whispered after a while,   
“Hey these babies can build anything.” Holtz said with a vaguely offended tone,

“I’m aware.” Erin replied dryly, missing Holtz’s smirk,

“There’s a highly inappropriate joke running through my head but maybe now’s not the best time.” Holtz added, dragging out the last word. Erin started gaping like a fish and making strange little outraged noises,

“Holtz!”   
“Sorry couldn’t help myself and I didn’t even say it yet you're all flustered.” Holtz grinned as Erin sat up and looked at her,   
“I am not flustered.” Erin replied,   
“Right and I’m straight.” Holtz deadpanned, Erin blushed again but kept looking at Holtz’s bright blue eyes. Hard to believe the heartache they had been through, “Well just so you know it’s really adorable.” Holtz added gently,

“Well you're not so bad yourself Dr Holtzmann.” Erin said with a smirk of her own,   
“Did you just flirt with me Dr Gilbert?” Holtz replied with a Cheshire cat smile,

“Mmmmhmm.” Erin hummed in agreement,   
“Wow and you admitted it. Step in the right direction Gilbert.” Holtz’s smile grew slightly manic in only a way she could do without seeming certifiable,

“What’s the next step then?” Erin asked coyly, Holtz stuttered at Erin’s blatant flirting.  _ Woah is this what’s it’s like when I do that… damn _ Holtz thought as she watched Erin’s eyes spark with playful electricity,   
“Um.. I mean… er…” Holtz didn’t actually manage to produce any words as she sat dumbstruck staring at Erin,   
“Have I left  _ the _ Jillian Holtzmann speechless?” Erin asked with joy, Holtz nodded numbly before shaking her head,   
“No, pfft what you talking about…” Holtz scrambled for a cover up but failed miserably, “You know if this is why you’re always blushing I would apologise,” Holtz paused to think, “but I’m not gonna.” She finished with a smirk,

“Consider this a fair playing field then.” Erin matched the smirk with her own and Holtz’s mind turned to mush again,

“Well shit.” She muttered,

“Speechless again? New record.” Erin smiled, 

“Huh well this has jacked me up.” Holtz said, refusing to break eye contact,

“I believe I asked you a question.” Erin reminded casually,

“Which was?”   
“What is the next step?” Erin asked again, slowly leaning closer to Holtz,

“You know I think you already know.” Holtz said also leaning forward,

“Holtz.” Erin said when they were millimetres apart,   
“Yes Erin?” Holtz breathed out,

“Stop talking.” Erin smiled before closing the miniscule distance between them. Holtz had the time to realise that Erin was kissing her before it was over,

“Yeah okay.” Holtz replied before pulling Erin back by her shirt. Erin wrapped her arms around Holtz’s neck and Holtz pulled them closer with a hand on Erin’s hip. Holtz pulled back after a few minutes and watched as Erin smiled with her eyes still closed,

“So you wanna go back downstairs?” Holtz grinned evilly as she leant closer to Erin and place a gentle, lingering kiss on her jaw, Erin bit her lip and opened her eyes,

“Not really.” She replied before Holtz grinned and kissed her again. Erin tugged on her lab coat and pulled Holtz closer which earned a low growl. Needless to say it fueled Erin’s confidence and she climbed into Holtz’s lap in an attempt to get even closer to the wacky inventor. Erin’s hands got tangled in the intricate hairstyle Holtz has created as Holtz’s tongue traced her lower lip. Erin tugged lightly on Holtz’s hair and she broke away from her lips to kiss a trail down her neck and back up,

“Wouldn’t it be funny if the other two found us like this?” Holtz chuckled through deep breaths, Erin paused, her lips still attached to Holtz’s neck,   
“Please tell me that is hypothetical.” She whispered, her lips still brushing her skin, Holtz closed her eyes at the limited contact,   
“I wish it was.” She said as she rested her head on the wall behind her. Erin lifted her head and looked at Holtz’s face that was exceptionally flushed and had a dopey smile on it,

“You better be joking.” Erin replied slowly,

“My eyes! My eyes!” Abby screamed in fake horror, “I’ve seen it all! My two best friends - no offence Patty-”   
“None taken.”   
“Making out on a roof! How will I ever recover?” Abby finished with a flourish and a smirk. She could only see Holtz’s face so she saw the lopsided smile,

“You could recover downstairs.” Erin piped up,

“Wow I said it without moving my lips.” Holtz joked when she saw Patty roll her eyes,

“Uh no. You two are coming downstairs, because we ordered pizza.” Patty said with a smirk matching Abby’s. Holtz lit up at the mention of food and gave Erin puppy dog eyes. As much as Erin would’ve loved to stay, she couldn’t say no to Holtz,

“Fine we’re coming.” She said, standing up and pulling Holtz with her. Holtz jumped up and landed squarely in Erin’s personal space. Grinning up at the physicist she leant up and pressed a gentle kiss on her lips,

“C’mon I want fooooooodddd.” Holtz whined,

“Alright, calm down.” Erin replied with a smile. The four of them headed back downstairs, Holtz gripping Erin’s hand tightly, just in case she suddenly wanted to leave. A couple hours later and all the pizza was gone and the sun was just beginning to set. Holtz refused to let Erin leave so the pair had taken up the sofa on the second floor. Holtz wrapped her arms around Erin’s waist and sighed contently,

“Thank you.” She said quietly, “I don’t think I said that yet.”

“You don’t have to thank me Holtz.” Erin replied earnestly, “Seriously I’ll always be here for you.” They fell into a comfortable silence,

“You know I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.” Holtz said conversationally,

“Really? I never would’ve guessed.” Erin deadpanned,

“Wow, sarcasm and swearing in one day. My, my you have changed.” Holtz teased,

“Well I’ve wanted to kiss you too.” Erin added,

“Never would’ve guessed.” Holtz repeated her words back at her and got an eye roll,   
“Don’t leave tonight.” Holtz whispered almost so Erin didn’t here,

“I won’t.” Erin whispered back, resting her head on top of Holtz’s, letting themselves fall into silence, just revelling in each other’s presence. 

Maybe Holtz had a crappy past but personally she thought her future looked pretty damn great.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you guys enjoyed it :)
> 
> Any prompts you want me to give a try comment below... or if not comments still appreciated :)


End file.
